Some places in the world I think, need to be completely removed off the map. If only someone could invent a big rubber and simply erase certain townships off the face of the planet and make my dream come true. Take for example...Blackpool. What a total waste of space that place is. I have honestly, never seen anything like it. My friend decided to treat me to the delights that Lancashire has to offer. My friend by the way, is a a thoroughbred Yorkshireman - so the hatred for anything west of the Pennines runs deep. Back to the days of the War of the Roses!!
(Which, funnily enough I had to research because he didn't know who 'won'. The information is ambiguious though. Going on battles, there were 17. History lesson for you now... The House of York won 10, the House of Lancaster won 6, and one couldn't be called. So 10-6 in favour of those cheeky Yorkshire chappies!)
So, black to Blackpool. It has to be the biggest pit ever. The streets are lined with obese, greasy haired single mothers. Long, greasy lank haired slightly odd looking tram conductors, and chavs - galore! It really is a chavtastic haven, and for me a living nightmare. The golden mile is anything but the slightest bit golden. Mile's of derelict looking B&B's line the sea front. Boarded up windows, used needles - it is such a delight.
You can buy pink cowboy hats that proudly declare "Slappers on Tour". I've never seen anything like it. I seriously thought that I might catch an STI from just breating in the air. We did find a safe place to park the my mate's prized possession - the Golf 1.6 FSI and promptly made our way to the Sea Life centre. Passing hoards of Glaswegian chavvy kids, parents and grandparents. I did genuinely fear for my safety.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment