Fighting the Fraudsters

Today I was reminded of the total stupidity of some of the vast, money-hungry population of the West African Republic of Nigeria. It's been a while since I've had to deal with that very distincitve accent telling you some far-flung, highly convuluted story about some relatives of relatives and why they need to travel abroad out of urgency and why nothing other than a UK passport will appease the strict Immigration Officers. "Well Sir, that's a very nice story, but I'm afraid the answer is still no".

This afternoon however I had my first 'bite' of the eBay in Nigeria 'apple'. One of the guys in my new office was selling his unlocked iPhone via the well known internet auction site. It was initially listed at just £80, but by the end of the auction, it had rocketed up to £255. Too good to be true? I'd say....

He promptly received emails from the so-called bidder regarding payment. Now, poor Mr A hadn't sold much on eBay before, and so forgot to stipulate delivery to the UK only. Our lucky bidder had been in contact and only wanted to ship the phone out to Nigeria of all places!! Instantly, my ears pricked up and I warned him that I was 99% sure it was some kind of banking scam. Next minute, he recieves an email purporting to be from PayPal saying that the winning bidder had deposited £360 into his account.

£360??? When the item only sold for £255. That's £105 more than the selling price. Surely shipment to Africa can't cost that much?? Can it? Something most certainly wasn't added up, so I insisted that I draft the correspondance to the eBay spoof team and to the PayPal spoof team. Within minutes it was confirmed that they were fraudsters. Fakes. Impostors. Whatever you want to call them...lucky escape for Mr A I'd say.

Soon enough, the emails were flying around the department "Hello. My name is Olatunde. My wife is most graciously recieving your item. She very good wife and we has 12 children. We need very much iPhone" and things to that effect - quite clearly much more comical than my lame attempt.

Speaking of comical outcomes of fraud. You simply must read this feature. It is a bit long winded, but it is very much worth it. If anything, just skip to page 4 and look at the photos!!

Whilst we're on the subject of fraud. I'm waiting to hear back from a counter-fraud company as to whether I passed their grueling 3-exam assessement. Fingers crossed hey!

Lucy is...

...disappointed at the lack of noodles in her chicken noodle soup!

Heinz are getting stingy. Rubbish.

What news is there to report? Not much. I've got 2 job interviews tomorrow. So finger's crossed I'll at least get a "we would like you to start on Monday" from at least one of them.

Currently listening to a bit of The Killers. Looked to see whether there were any tickets left for their 2009 arena tours. Bit stupid really, because I half expected them all to be sold out. Manchester have a few left, but who really wants to go there?! (Just offended most of Lancashire in that sweeping statement!)

Booked my train tickets up to Edinburgh for New Years Eve today. Good job too because they're selling fast! So many people descending upon that city not surprising really.

I really don't see what the appeal of being unemployed is. There's only so much Jeremy Kyle one can watch in a morning, although I do have to admit that it is strangely addictive. This morning's star guest was this 62 year old pensioner (who looked more like 92) who had over 8 boyfriends, recieved money for sex, had unprotected sex, had sex on a pool table in public and would get her wrinkly, saggy boobs out upon request. Infact, she "attempted to disrobe" infront of the man Kyle himself!

Honestly, I've never seen such a sight. I think any man in his right mind would be paying her to keep her clothes on! I can't even begin to describe how she looked. Overweight, glasses to rival Diedre Rasheed, topped off with a plum bob length wig would be a start. Really, where do they find these people??

On a slightly different note. Been listening to some 1992 classics lately! Loving it.

It's not over until the fat lady sings

...or in my case. It's not over until I've given the old bint a good slap. And by old bint I mean Mrs A. This woman is nothing more than a bully. All the 'young ones' in the office hate her because she swans around as if she owns the place making snide remarks about everyone. I am intent on telling the HR manager about her on my 'exit interview' tomorrow. Justice will come!

I finally finish the job from hell on Tuesday. And not a day too soon. Working for the police in the capacity which I have has most definately been the biggest mistake of my life. I've never been so close to being sacked in my whole working life - such a good girl usually. So, I've been left with no choice other than to jump ship before I get pushed overboard.

No idea what I'm going to do with myself. Well, the obvious place to start would be with getting a new job. But, what I meant was, I have no idea what I want TO DO with myself. I seem to think that I'd make a good (and slightly sexy) nurse in A&E, and have some fantasy about meeting the love of my life - either copping off with a rich Doctor, or falling for a sexy man in uniform who just so happens to stroll through the doors of whatever ward I would be working on. The whole 'caring for others in a compassionate role' comes a bit further down the list of priorities!! (I jest).

Meant to be going to Venice in 3 weeks. How on earth I'm going to be able to afford it is beyond me. If anyone out there is reading this and wishes to offer me a job, please don't hesitate to get in touch! I am a very hard worker ;-). Alternatively, any donations would be graciously recieved to the 'Lucy's tour of Venice-Fund'!